Monday, January 30, 2012

I Could Seriously Go For Some Ice Cream After Writing This Post

    Whenever the subject of celebrity crushes comes up, two names always get mentioned when you converse with me. Jennifer Aniston, the lovely Rachel from Friends - America's sweetheart, and Demi Moore, the stripper fighting for her daughter's custody in Striptease, and one of the few women who actually look better than her husband when they are both bald. One thing they have in common is that they both look better now, in their 40s (42 and 49, respectively), than they did in their 20s. Granted, they both have personal trainers and rigorous routines and I think Demi's daily food intake consists of little more than an orange (I know she ate a burger recently at a photo shoot, but it's funnier to say it that way), but it definitely pays off for them. They're gorgeous.
    And the nice thing is, for the most part they've been good celebrities. They don't party too hard, they keep it fun but fairly modest. They've both had divorces from actors I like and have gotten involved with guys I'm not a fan of (I love John Mayer's music - it's unfortunate he's a douche; I've never liked Ashton Kutcher, whatever). But recent events have put one certifiably over the other...
    Demi Moore was recently sent to the hospital. I really hope she's okay, I wish harm on no one. But rumor has it that she was sent to the hospital after doing "Whip-Its" or "whippets." Have you all heard about this? Apparently you snort the nitrous oxide out of a can of whipped cream, and you end up with a full can of whipped cream that doesn't work (for the parents that want to make sure their kids aren't addicts).
    This is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Are people so desperate to get high that they've tainted the sanctity of whipped cream? Doesn't whipped cream give you enough joy as it is? I mean...why wouldn't you just eat it, and get a natural high? I mean, if you really want to alter your mental state, they make alcohol-infused whipped cream (the chocolate variety is delicious) (I can't even imagine what snorting that would do to you).
    I feel like Demi would have someone in her life telling her that this is a bad idea. Heck, if you don't have anyone in your life that would tell you this is a bad idea...go find some new friends. And stop being stupid. I myself am immensely thankful for the friends I have. When I first found out about this incident, I was with a great group of people, and I am confident that Nikhil, Zach, Peter, Christina, and many others would definitely stop me from doing something as dumb as "whippets." Nushin is probably already doing them and I need to hold an intervention (to all readers, I'm sorry, Nikhil was having nightmares because I hadn't mentioned him in a blog post, and he and the others are very important in my life).
    Again, I wish Demi a swift recovery, and hope that people will see her as an example and use their whipped cream properly.
    And to Demi or Jennifer - if either of you would like to debate the merits or faults of this decision, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'll be waiting.

2 comments:

  1. The sanctity of whipped cream is one that few people respect. See Varsity Blues for more on that. And I concur with your assessment on Nushin. No wonder she doesn't drink (Jk!)

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  2. Comments from friends on Facebook that I feel I should add:
    MB: So I'm guessing you've never tried whippets based on your blog. They're actually not particularly dangerous if done properly, but are really enjoyable. Not that I would know anything about that. However, I'm sure our friends in Dental will be experimenting with the N2O at some point in their lives.

    PA: They were saying on the radio this morning that Demi was smoking some sort of incense, which caused her to start convulsing and be sent to the hospital. Who knows, she was probably doing both and a whole bunch of other shit.

    SH: When I worked at Dunkin Donuts years ago, they hired a new girl and all of a sudden our whipped cream was always liquidy and gross. Turns out new girl snorted all of the cans. Disgusting

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