So we've officially graduated! I can change the subtitle of this blog to "A Physician/Musician's Thoughts on Blah Blah Blah" - finally! It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm the way spring was meant to be (I love Buffalo but this extended winter stuff is for the birds). The ceremony was a huge thrill, and the speakers were excellent (shout out to my great friend and bandmate Mike Wach for making everyone cry). And to top it all off, I got to play a gig in front of a large portion of my classmates and friends (which, for all intents and purposes, will be the last time...but we'll see). The Lodge was packed, and everyone was dancing and singing along, which is my favorite part of playing in a live setting. It was a perfect day and night.
Okay, maybe not perfect (as you can guess from the title of this post), but I can gloss over any minor things that happened that day. But one thing - really just one person - stuck in my craw that night, and embodied the inspiration for a blog post that I have thought about writing before, but never actually did. So here it goes. The following list was inspired by that guy. Don't be that guy.
DO (can be applied more broadly):
1. Sing/dance/cheer. I love the energy I get from audience members, it definitely makes the whole experience better. Every performer has been at empty-house gigs where you still had to try and put on a show and it just felt like work.
2. Approach me between sets. I love talking to people at shows (I realize this is not the case with every musician, so be wary of that). Whether it's talking shop about drums, requests for songs, stories about how you saw some great band live and how amazing (or awful) they were, I'm usually pretty happy to hear it. The exceptions to this are if the musician really needs to pee, or (broader generalization here) if they are single (not me) and have their eye on a specific person in the crowd - that's no offense to anyone else approaching them, it's just the call of biology.
3. Buy me drinks. I mean, not too many, because I can't play drunk, but if you want to do a shot or get my next gin & tonic for me because you like the way I play, that's awesome. Again, musician-dependent.
4. Admire from far away. Hey, thanks! I mean, you can tell me between sets or from the crowd if you'd like (see #1 and #2).
5. Critique from far away. Hey, I can't stop you. Although maybe tell me to my face less often, and in a friendly manner so we can converse about it.
DON'T (a little more specific to that guy/drummers):
1. Approach me between songs. Little snippets of conversation are fine, or if you're buying me a drink or requesting a song, but please don't try to engage me on the merits of my cymbal placement or tell me about your drumming abilities while I'm waiting to hear what the next song is.
2. Walk around to stand behind me and stare critically. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and it's distracting because I know you're there but I can't see you. I looked back to acknowledge and got nothing. It's just weird.
3. Ask to play my drumset apropos of nothing. Every drummer is guilty of this desire at some point or another. We'll be at some show and the drummer will have a set that looks beautiful. Or it could be ugly but we still suddenly get the urge to play. But most drummers are also aware that if the tables were turned, we would not want someone else playing our drums. Every drummer is protective of their stuff, though we don't want to be pricks. But if we have never talked, never established any rapport, you're just some stranger from the crowd...and if you come up (between songs - see #2), clearly tipsy and starting to slur your words? I don't really want you playing my drumset (especially when I am still playing the gig)! Even if you do offer me $10.
4. Touch my drums unannounced while I'm playing. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES is this okay. I've been trying to be objective in this post, but this was seriously unacceptable. If I am playing a song and we have not previously agreed that you are going to come up and join me, then I question what is prompting you to pick up the stick that I broke earlier and add your own percussion accompaniment. When I am hitting the chorus of "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" and providing an optimal level of ride cymbal wash underneath the guitar riff, I don't need you adding your drunkenly off-beat hi-hat splashes.
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It should be known that after the show was over, the guy begged me enough that I took pity and let him play my drums (again, didn't want to be a prick). The way he talked, I was expecting to have my mind blown. As it turned out, he was drunk, clumsy, not nearly as groovy as he wanted to be (though the drunk girls dancing were okay with it), and he couldn't hold a stick to save his life. I gotta be more assertive with this kind of situation. Not to mention he spilled water all over my equipment bag. The nerve of some people. Haha. #thankgoditwasnotalcohol
4. Touch my drums unannounced while I'm playing. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES is this okay. I've been trying to be objective in this post, but this was seriously unacceptable. If I am playing a song and we have not previously agreed that you are going to come up and join me, then I question what is prompting you to pick up the stick that I broke earlier and add your own percussion accompaniment. When I am hitting the chorus of "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" and providing an optimal level of ride cymbal wash underneath the guitar riff, I don't need you adding your drunkenly off-beat hi-hat splashes.
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It should be known that after the show was over, the guy begged me enough that I took pity and let him play my drums (again, didn't want to be a prick). The way he talked, I was expecting to have my mind blown. As it turned out, he was drunk, clumsy, not nearly as groovy as he wanted to be (though the drunk girls dancing were okay with it), and he couldn't hold a stick to save his life. I gotta be more assertive with this kind of situation. Not to mention he spilled water all over my equipment bag. The nerve of some people. Haha. #thankgoditwasnotalcohol
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